Jesus said, "Do not hold on to me,
for I have not yet returned to the Father.
Go instead to my brothers and tell them,
'I am returning to my Father and your Father,
to my God and your God.' "
John 20:17 (NIV)
What does it mean that you are able to call God your Father?
I used to be sceptical about this. Yes, I am going to church. Yes, I am reading daily devotional. Yes, I believe that He is always beside me. Yes, I believe that He is watching me. Yes, I know that He is my Heavenly Father. No, I sometimes do not think that He is my father. Until I met my fiance.
I used to pray like a poet. I created beautiful words so that my prayer would be wonderful. I closed my eyes and pretended that I am a good prayer. I acted like I have a very close and personal relationship with Him. In fact, I am not!
So, one day I had an intimate conversation with my fiance. He told me his story about how God is really become his father. I listened to his story. I believed to everything he said about his experience with God. I just do not believe that I also have the rights to do the same as him. Why? because I think that my attitude and my heart is not as pure as him. I am wrong.
God is our father and He really is. I am now telling myself again and again. I remind myself everyday that He is my father. I do not have to create a beautiful phrase to talk to Him. When I am tired, I do not have to say, "Fill me Lord and blessed me abundantly to make me stronger". I'd rather say, "God, I am tired". I think He will understand.
When I am able to call God as my father, I should not hide anything from Him. I should not build a wall between us to defend myself. I should not be ashamed to ask Him for something I need. I should not be ashamed to praise Him in front of many people. I should not be scared to give appreciate to Him and thank Him for everything He has done for me. I should not do such thing. Why? Because there is nothing to hide between father and His children.
I always tell many things to my dad. My dad always remind me to pray, to talk to God. My dad always tell me that I do not have to pray in my room privately. I could also pray when I am walking, reading, talking, etc. Sometimes I do it but sometimes I do not. I wish I listened to my dad.
Now, as I know that He is my father. I am not afraid of Him anymore. I respect Him but I also share to Him. I share when I am happy. I share when I cry. I share when I am mad. The wall between us had gone and I am happy for it.