Funny Email.

You Know You've Been in Indonesia Too Long if …

· You can kill cockroaches with your bare feet
· The footprints on the toilet seat are your own
· You no longer wait in line, but immediately go to the head of the queue
· You stop at the bottom of the escalator to plan your day
· You habitually punch all the buttons as you leave the lift
· It has become exciting to see if you can get on the lift before anybody else can get off
· You're willing to pay to use a toilet you wouldn't go to within a kilometer of at home
· It is no longer surprising that the only decision made at a meeting is the time and venue for
the next meeting
· You rank the decision making abilities of your staff by how long it takes them to reply "up to
you mister"
· You no longer wonder how someone making US$200 per month can drive a Mercedes
· You accept the fact that you have to queue to get your number for the next queue
· You have considered buying a motorcycle for the next family car
· You accept without question the mechanic's analysis that the car is "broken" and that it will
cost you a lot of money to get it fixed
· You find it saves time to stand and retrieve your cabin baggage while the plane is on final
· You think the Proton and Kijang are stylish and well built cars
· You walk to the pub with your arm around your mate
· You answer the telephone with "Hello" more than 2 times
· You are quite content to repeat your order six times in a restaurant that only has four items
on the menu
· A T-bone steak and rice sounds just fine
· You believe everything you read in the local newspaper
· You regard traffic signals, stop signs and copy watch peddlers with ignorance
· If when listening to the pilot prove he can't speak English, you no longer wonder if he can
understand the Air Traffic Controllers
· You regard it as part of an adventure when the waiter exactly repeats your order and the
cook makes something completely different
· You're not surprised when three men with a ladder show up to change a light bulb
· You think it is normal to wait six days to get your laundry back or pay 50% surcharge for
same day service
· Taxi drivers understand you
· You own a rice cooker
· Due to selective memory you honestly believe you could return to the western world
· You can shake your hands almost perfectly dry before wiping them on your pants
· When crossing a busy street you believe that a limp wrist motion with your right arm creates
a force field that repels oncoming traffic
· Suitable family entertainment for Friday night is to dress the whole family in dark clothing
and dash back and forth across Jalan Sudirman and other busy streets
· You think it's logical to dry your hands with Kleenex
· When dining with your family at a mexican restaurant, the table next to you is occupied by an
overweight, bald, fifty-something Australian petroleum worker who has each of his arms
around a teenaged Sundanese girl
· While at an indonesian night spot you listen to the FEMALE singer singing "honky tonk
woman", and she appears to be unaware that she just sang the line "I met a gin-soaked bar-
room queen in Memphis, she tried to take me upstairs for the ride, . . ."
· You find that you are now depraved enough that you just spent a minute or two visualizing the
female singer mentioned above going "upstairs" with the gin-soaked bar-room queen
· You find yourself getting upset with inflation because the price of the buffet in a five-star hotel
is now nearly ten dollars
· Going out for a drink with your coworker, he shows up with his girlfriend, even though you are
on a first name basis with his wife
· Someone tells you that 10 kbs is a "pretty good download speed"
· There is no discount for what is clearly a demo model
· A gaggle of teenage girls swoon as you walk by
· The cute looking girls in Singapore seemingly pay you no notice whatsoever
· You find yourself looking at a photo of Demi Moore in a half naked pose and find yourself t
thinking that she looks rather unfeminine and unattractive
· McDonald's is out of hamburgers and KFCs is out of chicken
· You ask a person taking your order, "Do you have cheeseburgers?" and the server responds,
"Yes, we do." And so you say, "OK, I'll order a cheeseburger." And the server says, "I'm sorry,
we're out of cheeseburgers.
· You can walk into a five-star hotel lobby unshaven, in jogging shorts, ratty t-shirt and flip-
flops and DON'T get an awkward glance from the management.
· A bathroom with four attendants is so disgustingly filthy that you wouldn't step into it back
home ... and one of those attendants sole job is to hand you flimsy, single-ply toilet paper to
dry your hands.
· You look left, right, backwards, forwards, up and down before crossing a one way street.
· You reach for a baseball bat every time Joshua appears on TV (approx. every three minutes)
· Your main source of entertainment is the JP letters page
· You've seen every hollywood blockbuster three weeks before its premier
· You know at least fifty anachronisms
· You sing along with the Dancow adverts on TV
· You drink tap water (don't do this at home kids)
· You know most of the characters in the sinetrons
· You ARE one of the characters in the sinetrons
· You pick your nose in public
· You start to pronounce 'the' as 'de'
· You take a book to read on the journey to work ( thank you for that one Mr Cook)
· You carry tissues in your pocket for 'emergency stops' (or spare socks, thanks again Dave)
· You answer the phone in Bahasa Indonesia
· You consider an 18 year old getting on a bit (Dee's place door policy)
· Your current girlfriend is younger than your daughter

Source by email.


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